For Men!

Thoughts for the guys to consider

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Learning to dance is a lot of fun, with a lot of side benefits! Why be content to sit on the sidelines when you could get into the game?

At least 3 or 4 times a week I hear a lady say, "I'd love to learn how to dance but my guy won't even consider it!" 

1. Why do men resist learning to dance? 

To be honest with you, I think it is mostly a fear of embarrassment. We need to be seen as  always competent, especially in physical activities. To show (to our lady, or possibly other people), that we are struggling with that uncomfortable stage of learning a new skill is not something men are readily willing to do.

We may go back to our early high school days and remember embarrassed because we tried to do a "fake it dance" and we left the floor feeling pretty badly, especially if our buddies, or the girl, made fun of our lack of skills. 

2. What men need to understand about the process of learning to dance - and why it is a lot different from what the ladies experience.

3. Hey Guys!!
"There is no substitute for doin' the reps" It's my tag line and one you can understand. You can't learn to dance sitting on the couch while holding the remote and a beer.

Before you read below, bring to mind learning to play any computer game or sport like baseball or golf or tennis.

Below the surface of the game itself, you have to be thinking on many different levels to do it well. Things, like the mechanics of the physical skills needed, the rules, the strategy, the tactics and on and on. Dancing is just like that. It is complex at many levels. But on the surface, it's you and your lady moving together in a pleasurable activity.

3. Learning to Dance and Lead is much more complex for the guys than it is for the Ladies.

  • Men have to learn their own steps in the figure, and
    • How to keep the rhythm going, and
    • How create their frame (with or without the Lady maintaining her own frame, and
    • How to lead the Follow in the figure they are doing right now, and
      • Decide which figure they will do next, and
        • Remember when and how to pre-lead that figure, in a timely manner, and
          • Keep a 360 degree presence of mind at all times to manage his "floorcraft" in order to avoid collisions, and
            • Keep in mind the angles in which any given figure is best began and ended, and
            • Oh, yeah. the Ladies expect him to dance in time to the music while all the rest of the above is going on.

4. What are the ladies are looking for?
And, your lady is not looking for a dance pro.
this portion not complete yet.

5. What to tell your lady, if and when you try to learn. "Sweetheart, I will learn to dance with this understanding; I must learn at my own pace. I need time and reps to get it into the muscles and into my understanding. Telling me I am doing it wrong or telling me how to do it will only turn me off and run me out the learning process. So if you really want me to learn how to dance, you have to let me do it MY way!"